Step 1: Face that shit
Whatever it is that’s bringing you down, tearing you up, holding you back, face it. When I say face “it” I mean face the fact that you are being effected by this. Just saying “this is happening to me” is stating facts, but when you look at yourself and say ” this is happening to me and I am reacting poorly” you begin uncovering not only your flaws but can begin identifying how to fix them.
Usually it’s not our problems that bother us but our thoughts about them.
Step 2:Baby steps in the right direction
Make a list of what makes you happy. Make a list of what you do every day. Adjust accordingly. Begin in small steps. For example, I’m happy when I’m around nature and can thoroughly enjoy it in peace. Instead of planning a 6 week retreat to an isolated cabin in the woods I’ve changed my daily runs from around my neighborhood (which is okay too but it gets stagnant) to the boardwalk at the beach every other day. Your own happiness and peace of mind is personal, it’s yours and yours alone to maintain. I know myself better and to be real (with myself) I’ve set up smaller steps to my own happiness that won’t push me over board doing things that exert my efforts.
I may add going to farmers markets to my list you might add sky diving on to yours. Whatever it is that’s missing begin adding it.
I can’t stress enough how the little things end up being the big things. Once you begin developing “happy habits” that are for you and only you, then you will see how amazing the world around you begins to be.
Step 3: Conscious efforts
Humans are cognitively lazy. Although it serves us some great evolutionary advantages, at times it’s the exact thing that holds us back. Being “conscious and aware” does not imply being enlightened and spiritual. Literally speaking, making a conscious effort to deter your negative thoughts and make more positive ones will rewire your neural network through time eventually leading to a positive-responsive mind as opposed to the self loathing, insecure and unmotivated circuits lined up and ready to fire at the sign of the slightest trigger.
Remember, in order to turn negative thoughts to positive ones you will have to experience a negative thought. Once you have, it is then your chance to consciously rearrange your perspective/attitude on said thought and make it into something you can work with or retire.